Fail

After dinner.

6 o'clock.
been staring at my watch for almost an hour. kept busy, but always knew what time it was. now i am outside, and still haven't lit my smoke. i think i am just savoring the thought of smoking before going on to the actual act of smoking. now that i am typing as well, the lighter is in hand. this trigger of "computer = smoke" is going to be particularly nasty, i think.
we put up the x-mas tree, (mostly i just ate yogurt-covered-pretzels and took pictures, but i helped some) it looks fantastic. the fake tree she had bought years ago had more burnt-out lights than not, so we got a new one today. it fits better in the nook provided, and amy has done quite well with the trimmings. now it is supper time, and i took off out of the kitchen like a bat out of hell at 6:00 ... i did get some veggies chopped before i left, though.
almost done with this cigarette, and i think i shall head in soon after butting it out.
see you on the next trip...

Blogaway

Grabbed an app called Blogaway from the market ... had to give it my gmail password in order to use it, thinking I need a better solution ... I seem to be able to enter as much as I want ... we'll see how it publishes. I entered the last post via sms, had to go in after it via desktop and stitch together the separate entries it made.... also curious if this Blogaway will let me add tags to posts.

Just had my 2:00 smoke ... I smoked a little at 2, a little at 2:15, and the rest at 2:30. A little irritable, but maybe just because I was shopping for x-mas decorations at Target. Feeling like I can do this, but knowing that it won't be easy.

Test

edit: i sent the word test from my phone ... seems i have sorted out the mobile blogging thing ... at least for entries of 160 or less characters ... next stop is learning how to do it via email for longer messages and pictures

apparently, i will also discuss my phone on this blog ... that's cool, i like my phone.

today is as good a day as any

last week, my sister gave me half a bottle of zyban, and a whole dose of quit-smoking speech.
i came home to phx and started reading up on zyban, and quitting smoking. it seems there are not very many reasons to continue smoking, although the reasons to quit are astoundingly numerous.
1. people that love me want me to stop
2. $$$
3. i got winded the other day (everyday, doing everything)
4. mom died of cancer, mom's dad has heart issues, dad's dad died of heart issues, dad's bro is in hospital waiting for new heart
5. i'm engaged, and i'd like to try married LIFE
6. it's getting too cold outside to sit outside all day
for reasons 7 through 1,000,000, visit http://www.google.com/search?q=smoking+dangers

i just took a pill. it is a little after 10 AM, and i handed my smokes to Amy (of aforementioned engagement) and told her i am not to get another one until 2 PM, and another at 6 PM and 10 PM. of course, i smoked one just now. tomorrow, i shall smoke at 10, 2, 6, and 10 again.
already i am looking at the ashtray trying to scout out a butt with some juice left in it. this could be tough. i'll have to dump the tray, and put all my butts in the shitter from here on out.
i'm going to bring my computer inside, drink lots of water, and stare at the clock until 2.
maybe i will use that time to see how hard it is to post on this blog from my phone. or take a 4 hr nap ... that would work well.
in any case, i have started a journey, and we shall see how it goes.